good post!
-Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
-At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
-Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
-Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
- You never know where to look when eating a banana.
-Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
-The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill
you at the first given opportunity.
-Every guy has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half
way through and then raced against the flush.
-Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
-Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
-You never ever run out of salt.
-The most painful household incident is wearing socks and
stepping on an upturned plug.
-Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
-In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
-Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
-A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
-It's impossible to lick your elbow.
-If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.
-Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
-More people in China speak English than in the United States.
-Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
-The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.
-On the cartoon show 'The Jetsons', Jane is 33 years old and her daughter Judy is 15.
-Pulp Fiction cost $8 million to make - $5 million going to actor's salaries.
-Mr. Snuffleupagas' first name was Alyoisus.
-If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
-"the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
uses every letter in the alphabet
good post!
[b] "The One and Only"[/b]
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
-Every guy has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half
way through and then raced against the flush
[/ QUOTE ]
I've done that a time or two. [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
"Freedom is not free, it requires great sacrafice. The price is paid in blood."
haha me too...
this sounds like one of those things you can read in the Thrifty Nickle...
That is one of life's pleasures women will never experience [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
_________________________________________________________
HOW'S THAT HOPE AND CHANGE WORKING OUT FOR YA ??????
"Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly"
Haha....I've done this several times
[img]http://www.darkphotography.net/Media/Bands/Cradle%20Of%20Filth/CradleLogo_Roll.jpg[/img]
The Volkswagen was designed by Dodge, I ALWAYS run out of salt, I can take a cold half gallon of milk and a pound of salt and make a meal.
25 Truths of Life
1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall
out.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do
it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any
more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one
you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a
glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that
life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite
government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you
probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed
of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other
parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal
with it!
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and
narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than
coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw
away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted
on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to
recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the
ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice
contrast to the real world.
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
no matter what a stripper tells you their is no sex in the champagne room.
[img]http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i42/stinmeister/untitled-2.jpg[/img]
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